Wow, that's so long!

Does anyone else get tired of going to bed EVERY night? Why is it so completely out of the question to totally get rid of "the week" as a measure of time?


I feel it would be a fantastic time to try a system of non-week months.


In this new system, there would be four days in a month, and each day would last 168 hours. People would need to train themselves to sleep for 56 hours straight, and then further train themselves to be awake for 112 hours straight. There would have to be a few rules and regulations put forth to make this system a success.


First and foremost, an extremely strict curfew would need to be set in place for the designated 56 hours of sleeping time. Robots would patrol the streets and kill anyone who was not inside at least attempting to sleep. These robots would be similar to the Sentinels found in The Matrix movie series. Along the lines of Sentinels, streets could also be patrolled by the Sentinels from the X-Men video games... though I think the Matrix Sentinels would be more effective. On a related note; all electromagnetic pulses would be banned.




Second, the Marines and the Air Force would be completely dropped from our military. Marines are huge douchebags and Air Force people are scared to kill people. The Coast Guard and the Army National Guard aren't even worth mentioning. We would only need the Army and the Navy -- that's it. Both of these branches of the military would be on completely different sleep schedules than the rest of the country; one branch would sleep for the first 84 hours of each day, while the other guards us as us civilians sleep, since during our irrationally long sleep hours, our country will be very susceptible to attacks -- by terrorist jerks. These two military branches would patrol land, sea, and air. Also, surplus soldiers cannot be used to enforce the curfew, that's just how things are.


On an unrelated note, all of our soldiers currently stationed overseas would be brought back to the US. Additionally, all of our nation's prisons would be emptied and all prisoners would serve the rest of their sentences in Iraq, fighting our war. Anyone serving a sentence for a property crime would be forced to make elaborate fireworks. All states would legalize fireworks. Furthermore, fireworks would be used as an "alarm" to wake everyone up after their 56 hours of deep sleep.




Now I can see how some people may not agree with this new system of life, but I assure you; it would be an overwhelming success.


PROS:
- Athletic contests could quadruple in time -- extended sleep hours would give athletes super-human endurance, and time would not be a factor.
- The Sun would eventually adapt to our new way of life. We control the sun. Science wins.
- People would acquire an abnormally large tolerance for alcohol, for unrelated reasons.


CONS:
- It's a terrible idea.
- It would never work.
- Sentinels aren't real.


What a waste of time this was.